j _start

This is cringe. I'm cringe. I haven't given you any clues as to why, you probably don't know me to guess why, and you wonder why.

Creating this blog of mine made me cringe beyond belief on too many occasions in my life; the reason being this has been in the works for the better part of 15 years now. And I'm 29 as of writing this.

Fifteen years of undiagnosed ADHD ultimately resulting in me never actually voicing what I had to say not because I lacked the skills or time, but because it kept being put on the backburner for no good reason, quite the opposite in fact. Of photos taken and never used. Of projects worked on and never mentioned.

Fifteen years of iterations, no less than 7 static site generators tested, being on the verge of making my own, and fifteen years of just... change. Change in knowledge, growing as a person, "maturing" as they say, change in narrative approach, change of tone. From adolescent-idiotic to depressed to trolling to blasé to the 2AM quasi-drunkenness delirium I'm writing these very words with, Murder Drones' soundtrack blaring in the background from my Creative Inspire T12 speakers.

Of the many past revisions of a first blog post that was to exist, a sentence that kept coming back is

2007 called and it wants its blogosphere back.

I hate the word blogosphere. I don't know why I kept using it, yet I've immortalised it by pasting it there.

And it's cringe.

And to be cringe is to be free.

Welcome to hell. May the rants prove useful to you.